As the world grapples with the recent case of Nandipha Magudumana and her association with a convicted criminal, Thabo Bester, the conversation around the allure of “bad boys” or jailbirds has resurfaced with renewed fervor. The question that plagues many is why would a successful medical doctor and entrepreneur risk everything for someone with such a dark past?
According to psychologists, the allure of the forbidden is one possible explanation for women being attracted to “bad boys.” The unpredictability and danger that these men represent can be thrilling and make women feel more alive and adventurous. Additionally, some women may feel a need to rescue or fix someone who is in trouble, which can provide a sense of validation and self-worth.
Also Read: Why are women drawn to men behind bars?
However, it’s important to note that not all women who are attracted to “bad boys” have these motivations. Other factors, such as shared experiences, personality traits, and values, can also contribute to the formation of such relationships. In Magudumana’s case, her attraction to Bester may have been influenced by her own life experiences and values.
But what motivates successful women like Magudumana to risk their careers and family’s well-being for someone with a criminal past? According to psychologists, women may be drawn to “bad boys” for their hypermasculine characteristics, which they see as a symbol of freedom. They may also project qualities onto these men that are not entirely realistic, leading to an infatuation that endangers those around them.
Despite the potential risks, some women find that relationships with jailbirds offer a chance for growth and redemption. Take the story of Tshidi Monkoe, who found love and support in her relationship with Tshepo, a man serving time in prison. Her experience working as a prison warder and interest in the criminal justice system may have contributed to her attraction to him. But it was her willingness to look beyond his past and see him as a whole person with hopes, dreams, and emotions that played a significant role in the formation and maintenance of their relationship.
However, maintaining a relationship with someone who is incarcerated comes with unique challenges. The stigma surrounding those who are incarcerated and the lack of support can make it difficult for women to pursue or sustain relationships with jailbirds. The stress of navigating the prison system can also take a toll on both partners.
As we continue to grapple with the allure of “bad boys” or jailbirds, it’s important to understand the complex and multifaceted factors that contribute to the formation of these relationships. Rather than shaming women who are drawn to such men, we should seek to understand their motivations and offer support and resources to help them navigate the unique challenges they may face. At the same time, we should not ignore the potential dangers that come with these relationships and strive to provide adequate protection and support for all involved.